Sometimes it is nice to step into someone else’s shoes. When we attempt to walk in Miu Miu stilettos, our shoulders blades slide into place, breasts perk up, and our backs arch back. Our calves muscles morph into tightened and lengthened curves.Its completely different when slipping into your best friends sneakers. With the Nike Air cushioning, we bounce like cheerleaders before we drink our morning Starbucks. Sometimes the act of slipping on someone else’s shoes means we create a completely different persona.
This afternoon, I read one of my twitter friend’s stories. In the story, she talked about how we create different personas when we go out. Boy meets girl. Girl chose not to tell him her real name or what she did for a living. Instead of being evasive, she lied. In a small town like Vancity, it was plausible that he could walk into the bar where she works. Surprised then outraged, he proceeded to spend the next five hours blabbing his “poor me” story to her coworkers.
Her tale did not mention if she called the police. She could have. Harassment is not particularly sexy. Yes she lied to him. She did not deserve to be punished in that manner. If she had picked up the “freak” feeling when she met him the previous evening, I can understand why she wouldn’t want to reveal anything about herself.
All of us meet people we find attractive. All of us meet people who find us attractive. Sometimes the attraction is not reciprocated. Sometimes we lie about who we are and how we feel about someone because we do not want to hurt the other person. A lie may buy us time to escape. If the lie is discovered by the person who believed it to be true, ego and feelings might be bruised. If there is someone we meet that we are not interested in, it is better to be up front about it. There is no point wasting his time or yours. You are too wonderful to waste your time pretending to be something that you are not. To quote Aretha Franklin is it all about Respect.
That being said, there is no reason why you can’t explore the possibility of seeing who you want to be. Perhaps a different stage might be used to explore those options.